It is (y)our world…

Why this “kolaveri” Change in everything? And change is the only constant thing and inevitable too! However in our day to day life, do we observe these changes? I am not talking about the apparent physical changes, because that is a distinct signal for us to assimilate with our mind and show maturity in our other behavior too.

As parents, many of us find it difficult these days to welcome the changes at home or with un- ending choices that the world outside is offering! A new game on the cell phone is the best option available to keep him or her occupied, when parents want some free time for themselves. The same game can become a catalyst for an escalated battle if the child decides to play with the phone. In this scenario, who is right? And what is right? Also who is wrong and what is wrong? As a professional I can relate this to Transactional Analysis,

I am ok and you are ok

I am not ok and you are not ok

I am ok but you are not ok

I am not ok but you are ok

These four levels of our mindset is the culprit or a determining factor for our general behavior. We are steered by situations. Trust me…Relationship between parents and children is the most vulnerable, and both try to cash in on the opportunities whenever it is possible. Children witness a lot of changes, take parents shoulder as a wall so that they can bounce back like a ball, and they are fully aware that the x ray eyes will guard them. However, adults are happy as long as the kid listens to them!!!

“At five years child says that my father is a hero, At ten, he says he is good but gets angry swiftly, At fifteen he tells his mom that father is really boring and interfering too much in his life, At twenty he says to the same sweet mom that, “How did you marry this person?, At thirty he says openly to everyone that he stopped talking to his father because the father finds fault in whatever he was doing, At Forty he says…My father used to get angry but he was not that bad, and at fifty he says…my father was great as he could give us the comforts and education with whatever possible resources that he had”

This is the mindset of children from generation after generation, at the age of fifty child can understand the struggles of being a parent and appreciate their hard work.

Now my question is, why can’t we break this monotonous atmosphere?

1. Why should someone wait for forty five years to get the title back?

2. Can’t the parents be little relaxed and more accommodative?

3. Can’t the child be empowered to select what he wants in life?

4. Can there be more emotional treadmill? Balanced ego ride? More territory for children to breathe at home?

These questions are all for introspection! We can always increase the number of participants within the family to activate our mind for coherent actions. Arnab Goswami will never say “All is well”, IPL matches divide a family into a war zone, Trespassers like Facebook, What’s app, and Video games have gate crashed to our dining table. It will be one of the most precious achievements for a parent to keep this award for ever. They just have to be little more kind towards their own children and trust them more when they want to reach them!

This is the biggest gift on the earth as a creator!!!

                          by – Vindya Ayyar